This is a picture of my father and my brother.
If you are able to celebrate Father’s Day with your dad, have a wonderful day; but if your dad has died, celebrate his spirit. In this blog, I want to focus on the fathers who are grieving the death of a child. When a child dies, the family suffers; but it is the father who tries to hold it together for their family.
I was five years old when my brother died. To this day, I cannot put into words the pain my parents went through. It was years later that I realized that my father was still suffering. My mother expressed her pain, but my father went silent. To others, it seemed as if my mother was the only one who was grieving. As a child, I noticed that my father was not the same. He wasn’t home as much, and when he was home, he sat alone. Within years, his health started to decline. One day during a fight with my mother, he told her that he could not stay in this house of grief and that he wanted to leave. After that day, my mother hid her sadness, and together they rebuilt their life. In my first book, “A Second Chance to Say Goodbye,” I talk about the details of my brother’s death.
When a father makes an appointment with me so he can communicate with the spirit of his child, I am so grateful that he is reaching out to heal. If there is an initial session with both Mom and Dad, for the next session, I ask them to come in separately. Their healing processes are different because each relationship is distinct. When Dad is alone in the room, he doesn’t have to pretend to be brave; he can allow his emotions to flow freely.
I recently had a session with a mom and dad whose daughter had died in her sleep. The father was the one to find his daughter hours after her death. During our session, the mother was emotional and asked most of the questions and was the one to respond to her daughter’s answers. The father sat in silence with tears rolling down his face. After our session, I asked the father if he would be willing to come back alone just so he could have more time with his daughter. He told me that he would like that, and his wife agreed that it would be good for him. At our next session, the father broke down with many different emotions. He expressed sadness, anger and regret. The spirit of his daughter comforted him and helped him to find a glimpse of peace with her death.
If you are a father and you are experiencing the death of a child, my heart goes out to you because it is one of the hardest journeys in this physical life. Know that you do not have to go through this alone. Have a session with me and allow the connection with the spirit of your child help you heal.
