The month of May is usually the month we celebrate our mothers. My mother was a wonderful mother and she was my best friend. In the last year of her life, I cared for her and was by her side when she moved into the afterlife. In this blog I will share a dream that I had about six months after she died.
In my dream I was swinging on a swing. I was in the backyard from my childhood. As I was swinging, I noticed my mother’s beautiful flowers, especially her roses. She loved her red roses but, as she became older, she did not spend as much time in her yard. I could hear my mother’s voice through the kitchen window. She was loudly laughing with her friends. I called out to my mother to come out of the house so I could see her. She did not respond. I tried calling her again but it was as if she were ignoring me. I could hear her talking to her friends. As I listened closely I could recognize their voices. These were friends whom she loved dearly, and she had deeply grieved their deaths. I felt very excited to see everyone. I had a strong feeling I could not go into the house, so I wanted them to join me. I continued to call out to her. Eventually she answered, “I cannot come visit with you; I am busy with my friends.” At that point I woke up from my dream.
As I lay in bed, I felt disappointed that I did not see my mother, but most of all that she choose not to visit with me. I got up from bed and started my morning meditation. After my meditation I felt a sense of peace. I realized my mother spent the last years of her life extremely close to me, but during those years she missed her friends. She missed the social life that she had when she was younger.
While meditating, I remembered that years before my mother died she told me about her reoccurring dreams. In each dream she heard her friends talking: They were either in church or on a bus and, as my mother desperately tried to join them, the door closed on her. I then realized my dream was not for my mother and I to interact. Rather, she was letting me know that the door finally opened and that she was home.