You would think that, as a medium, I would be prepared to say goodbye when someone I love dies. I have a total understanding that when the soul moves out of the physical body, the connection is never gone. But what is difficult for all of us is that the relationship that we have grown to love has truly ended. Hearing their laughter, a phone call to cheer you up, all the things that were a part of your life are now filled with their absence. I knew that when my friend died, I would be able to communicate with her, so that gave me hope. For many years she spoke of wanting to die so she could be together with her loved ones. Because of this, I thought that helping her let go would be easy. My journey was far different from what I had expected: I did not anticipate that she would fight death, and I certainly did not foresee that she would be afraid to die.
During the last few months, I watched my friend transition from being sick to being terminally ill. I watched her body decline. A strong, self-sufficient, fearless, independent woman became helpless and afraid. Even though it gave me some comfort to visit with her in the hospital, I knew that her hanging on for me was not tolerable for her. As she slowly declined, I knew that I would grieve, but it was time to say goodbye to the woman that was my friend. It was time to help her cross over.
As the days went by, her spirit family drew near. She was very aware that they were waiting for her, but the choice to let go was still difficult. She was a fighter. This was no fight. The Angel of Death always wins this battle, but it is your choice to choose to surrender. Do you take your body to the end when it has no vital functions left, or do you accept that you are powerless and allow your body to transition in peace? In theory, the journey of life and death is a consequence of free will. In some religions, it is suggested that God created humans with free will, allowing them to make choices that determine their own faith including life and death. Most can accept this concept about life, but it is just as important in dying.
One morning when I walked into her hospital room, she looked straight into my eyes and asked me, “Do you think I should let go?” As my heart broke, my answer was, “Yes.” I continued to say, “What are you holding on to? Look around. Your life has been reduced to a small room. You can hardly move. This is not a life. This is not your life.” In the next few days, every time I visited, she told me that she was trying to let go. She was getting frustrated, but I explained that death is a process and once you have made the conscious decision to let go, it will come. A few days later, I received a call that she had died. I was told that she was laughing in the morning and a few hours later she was dead. I smiled and looked up at the sky and said, “You did good.” Now my new spirit relationship has begun.