February is the month that marketing goes crazy on love. Everywhere we look, our lives are carpeted in hearts, cupids and advertisements that flood the stores, television and media with the reminder of love. This feeling of love can be wonderful for some, but for others it can bring a feeling of despair. When someone we deeply love becomes non- existent in our daily life, it becomes difficult to open our heart to love. Our mind wants to share in the love, but our heart has been shut down by sorrow.
Throughout my years as a medium, many of my clients have expressed guilt because there have been times when close friends and family are experiencing love, and my client instead has felt extreme sadness and was not able to share in their joy. There is no shame in having these feelings; instead, understand that when our lives have been touched by grief, our hearts become numb.
When my heart is having a difficult time feeling love, I find the meditation “Loving Kindness” opens my heart. There are times when I immediately feel a flood of love pouring through me; other times, it may take a few days.
My client Donna felt very lost after her husband died. She experienced very uncomfortable feelings when spending time with the couples that were close to her and her husband. She expressed to me that the feelings of joy that she once felt for these friends were now covered in anger and resentment. After months of dedicating herself to the “Loving Kindness” meditation and communicating with the spirit of her husband, she was able to release her anger and resentment.
Loving Kindness Meditation
Find a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Start by taking two or three deep breaths
with slow, long and complete exhalations. Let go of any concerns and try your best
to quiet your mind by focusing on the breath. The first group of phrases we practice will be directed towards ourselves:
May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
While you say these phrases to yourself, allow yourself to sink into the intentions they express. Loving Kindness Meditation focuses primarily on connecting tothe intention of wishing oneself happiness. Allow the feelings of warmth or love to arise in your body or mind, connect to them, and let them grow as you repeat the phrases. As an aid to the meditation, you might hold an image of yourself in your mind’s eye. This helps reinforce the intentions expressed in the phrases. After a period of directing loving kindness toward yourself, bring to mind someone in your life who has cared deeply for you. Then slowly repeat the same phrases of loving kindness toward them, bringing their image into your mind’s eye.
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
Allow these phrases to come from the heart. Now choose a neutral person, someone you know but have no special feelings towards, perhaps someone at the dry cleaner’s or grocery store. Then slowly repeat phrases of loving kindness toward this person as you bring the image of your acquaintance into your mind’s eye:
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
As you continue the meditation, now bring to mind someone who has hurt you or whom you have ill feeling towards. You might not want to start with the person you feel the most animosity from or towards. Slowly repeat phrases of loving kindness toward that person, bringing the image of this difficult person into your mind’s eye:
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
Keep repeating these phrases until the feelings of loving kindness arise, connecting your feelings with the phrases so that they become stronger as you repeat the words. Try to hold on to these feelings even if only for a moment. If negative thoughts come into your mind,remember that there is no need to judge yourself for having these feelings.
If you would like to learn more about this meditation it is in my book “Healing the Heart of Grief” on page 161
May you have an abundance of love this month.