Many times my clients speak of regrets regarding the end of life of their loved one. There are many emotions when the tragedy of death comes into our lives. We start to second guess the decisions that were made. “I allowed the doctors to put her on life support against her will”, or “I should have put her on life support. Maybe she would have lived,” or “I wasn’t with him when he died,” and “I am so afraid my husband is mad at me for losing my patience.” All these thoughts run through our minds but the truth is your loved one is now at peace. Their death played out for them and they took their bow at the final curtain call. It is now up to you to find your peace with their death. As humans we like to think of ourselves as powerful and in control of most things, but we are not in control of death. Each soul has its own journey
What I have come to realize from spirit, repeating to me over and over, that the hours before death are not what is important, but the life and relationships that lead up to that moment are. The horrible memory at the time of death is only your memory. Your loved one was so busy working with the other side that his or her focus was not on dying but on his transformation. Leaving the body and being transported into the light, and reuniting with spirit was the concentration of the soul. 

Other questions I am asked are: “Should I have known my child was suicidal? Could I have stopped him from dying?” This is a hard one, because we feel that as a parent we are supposed to protect our children, but this statement is not true. We can guide our children but their journey is their own. If a loved one committed suicide what you can do for them is not only forgive them, but also forgive yourself. This sets the soul free.

Another situation happens when a loved one dies and family members may turn on each other. “I tried to honor my father’s wishes and now my family hates me.” As long as you acted from love you may want to remove yourself from your family’s judgments and realize that this is their karma. Repeat over and over “I release them with love.” Also remember your loved one has a new perspective on his or her wants and does not have the attachment to the end of life needs any longer. Looking down from heaven he does not judge you for the exact details of his death.   

Try not to waste your days with regrets, treat your loved ones with love and say the words you need to say today. Don’t wait until tomorrow. There are no guarantees in tomorrow.