February is the month that marketing goes crazy on love. Everywhere we look, our lives are carpeted in hearts, cupids and advertisements that flood the stores, television and media with the reminder of love. This feeling of love can be wonderful for some, but for others it can bring a feeling of despair. When someone we deeply love becomes non- existent in our daily life, it becomes difficult to open our heart to love. Our mind wants to share in the love, but our heart has been shut down by sorrow.
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Throughout my years as a medium, many of my clients have expressed guilt because there have been times when close friends and family are experiencing love, and my client instead has felt extreme sadness and was not able to share in their joy. There is no shame in having these feelings; instead, understand that when our lives have been touched by grief, our hearts become numb.

When my heart is having a difficult time feeling love, I find the meditation “Loving Kindness” opens my heart. There are times when I immediately feel a flood of love pouring through me; other times, it may take a few days.

My client Donna felt very lost after her husband died. She experienced very uncomfortable feelings when spending time with the couples that were close to her and her husband. She expressed to me that the feelings of joy that she once felt for these friends were now covered in anger and resentment. After months of dedicating herself to the “Loving Kindness” meditation and communicating with the spirit of her husband, she was able to release her anger and resentment.

Loving Kindness Meditation

Find a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Start by taking two or three deep breaths
with slow, long and complete exhalations. Let go of any concerns and try your best
to quiet your mind by focusing on the breath. The first group of phrases we practice will be directed towards ourselves:

May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be peaceful and at ease.

While you say these phrases to yourself, allow yourself to sink into the intentions they express. Loving Kindness Meditation focuses primarily on connecting tothe intention of wishing oneself happiness. Allow the feelings of warmth or love to arise in your body or mind, connect to them, and let them grow as you repeat the phrases. As an aid to the meditation, you might hold an image of yourself in your mind’s eye. This helps reinforce the intentions expressed in the phrases. After a period of directing loving kindness toward yourself, bring to mind someone in your life who has cared deeply for you. Then slowly repeat the same phrases of loving kindness toward them, bringing their image into your mind’s eye.

May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.

Allow these phrases to come from the heart. Now choose a neutral person, someone you know but have no special feelings towards, perhaps someone at the dry cleaner’s or grocery store. Then slowly repeat phrases of loving kindness toward this person as you bring the image of your acquaintance into your mind’s eye:

May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.

As you continue the meditation, now bring to mind someone who has hurt you or whom you have ill feeling towards. You might not want to start with the person you feel the most animosity from or towards. Slowly repeat phrases of loving kindness toward that person, bringing the image of this difficult person into your mind’s eye:

May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease.

Keep repeating these phrases until the feelings of loving kindness arise, connecting your feelings with the phrases so that they become stronger as you repeat the words. Try to hold on to these feelings even if only for a moment. If negative thoughts come into your mind,remember that there is no need to judge yourself for having these feelings.

If you would like to learn more about this meditation it is in my book “Healing the Heart of Grief” on page 161

May you have an abundance of love this month.

At this time of the year, everyone is considering the dramatic changes that they can make in their lives for the new year. I prefer going down a path of wonder, hope and possibilities for my soul. When I focus on my outer world, I set myself up for disappointment.
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We must remember that when our time on Earth ends and our soul moves on to the afterlife, our New Year’s resolutions won’t really matter. What will matter is the changes that we made to empower others and to deepen our spiritual life.

During a reading, the spirit of a father told his son that when he was alive, instead of wishing for more money and a better job, his New Year’s resolution should have been to tell his son how much he loved him. He explained that when he died, his comfortable life was not important. During his soul review, he felt the harsh words he had said to his son. He told me to tell his son that he was sorry. He hopes that his son’s New Year’s resolution will be to be a kinder and more thoughtful person. His son thanked me and was very appreciative that his father finally acknowledged his behavior. He certainly did not want to repeat his father’s mistakes.

Each year I ask myself how I can deepen my spiritual life. Fall in love with silence. Stop looking for distractions. Stepping out of the busyness of life, stopping the endless drive to be somewhere else, being in the moment: these are the most glorious New Year’s resolutions that we can make to the soul. Go inward and allow Spirit to guide you.

Hove a blessed beginning to this new year

This is the time when we miss our loved ones. Grief becomes more difficult. Especially when those around us want to celebrate the holidays and the truth is that we don’t feel merry and cheerful. My work as a medium becomes very busy during this time. Having the connection with the spirit of our loved one can be extremely healing. Finding a medium and connecting with your loved ones is the best gift that you can give yourself.
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I had a session with a woman who was having a very hard time with the death of her father. At the age of twelve her parents got divorced and afterward she did not see him very often. When she heard her father was dying she went to his bedside. As he lay in bed dying he took her hand and in a weak whisper he said three words to her,
“I love you.” As tears rolled down her check she told me that she felt peace that he said these words but most of all anger that so much time was lost.

As I opened up for her session, the spirit of her father came rushing in. He explained to her that after the divorced his life fell apart. He started drinking heavily and never really got his life back together. But what he wanted her to remember was the twelve holidays that he spent with her. He loved Christmas and made each one special. He talked about their first, second and third Christmas together, which of course she had no memory of but when he spoke of her fourth through twelve those memories came pouring back. He reminded her of how he taught her how to ice skate and that he bought them matching hats. By the time our session was over it was as though she met her father again. The anger she once felt lifted off her and the peace and love took over. By connecting with spirit you are then better able to understand their perspective.

For myself I step away from the traditional holidays. My mother loved Christmas. Her birthday was Christmas Eve so it made it even more special. I can’t duplicate her traditions but instead I honor her with the lighting of a candle, hanging her ornaments on the tree, using her rosary for prayer and a slice of pizza. These were the simple things that were important to her. But most of all she lives in my heart all year round.

Wishing you a blessed holiday season.

As November approaches, everyone talks about giving thanks. Thanksgiving, our national holiday of thanks, arose from hard times. The first Thanksgiving took place after nearly half the pilgrims and many of the Native Americans had died. It became a national holiday in 1863 in the middle of the Civil War; and in 1939, following the Great Depression, it was moved to November.
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In difficult and uncertain times, people realize how powerless they are and how, in a second, their lives can change. In the work I do as a medium, it can be difficult to ask people to find gratitude in their lives. Most of the time their lives are filled with sorrow and grief. In their darkness, it is very hard for them to see the light.

It is important to make a distinction between feeling grateful and being grateful. We don’t always have total control over our emotions. We cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy, especially after the death of a loved one. Being grateful is a choice, an attitude that endures even in the darkest time. Processing an horrific experience through a grateful lens does not mean denying it. Instead, it means realizing the power you have to transform a terrible experience into a positive channel for gratitude. Finding gratitude even for the smallest thing will help your mind shift from sadness. Gratitude creates a new focus and breaks the stream of sadness.

I would like to share a story from my client Rosemary. She was able to find thanks even through her grief. Her daughter Jen struggled from the age of thirteen. Even at this young age, Jen knew that she did not want to be alive. Rosemary did everything to help her daughter find happiness. She tried many different types of therapies. Her daughter learned multiple religions trying to find her sense of purpose. But to no avail. Jen could not find a reason to live. Anyone who knew Jen thought she was a normal teen, but deep in her heart she longed to leave this world. At seventeen she committed suicide.

When I met Jen, she was in the heavenly realm. She had a big smile on her face and in her arms she held her favorite cat Cosmo. Her spirit thanked her mother for being her best friend and understanding her struggle. Jen has now found her sense of purpose and explained that her soul was not ready for this world. Rosemary told me that everyday she gives thanks. She is so grateful to be her mother and that she had seventeen years with her amazing child, but most of all she is so thankful that her beautiful daughter is now at peace.

Each day I walk to watch the setting sun. The evening sky is all aglow as Heaven turns its lantern down on this October night. I find as the days are shorter and the nights grow longer, the veil between the physical world and the spirit realm becomes thinner.

We are connected energetically to everything in the universe. So the influence of the moon, the tides, the weather and the seasons all affect the way we can communicate with Spirit. This is the time of the year when it is easiest to bring through messages from Spirit.
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The autumn equinox possesses a great significance. It reminds us that we are in tune with the afterlife and that death is simply another part of life. The equilibrium of the day and night serves as a reminder to balance the light and dark within our own lives. At this time of year, many cultures seek to have a deeper interaction with the spirit world through celebrations such as the Day of the Dead, All Saints Day and All Souls’ Day. These celebrations are designed to honor the dead who in many cultures are believed to return to their earthly homes when the veil is thin. Many families construct an altar to the dead in their homes to honor deceased loved ones. The intentions that are created by these days bring us closer to the afterlife.

To create an altar for a loved one: Put the altar in a quiet corner of your home where you like to sit in meditation. The foundation of the altar can be a tray, scarf, marble or wood. You can also use a table or shelf. Place pictures of your loved ones in the center. Add to the altar anything that is special and meaningful to you. You may also want to add crystals, flowers, jewelry, incense or a picture of a religious figure. I love mass cards that I have collected from funerals. I will add a mass card to my altar to represent the spirit of my loved one.

Join me on All Souls’ Day, November 1, at sunset. Light a candle and sit for a few minutes to receive messages on this special day. Our universal energy will light the world.

There is no doubt in my mind that I was put on this earth to provide others with the undeniable evidence that death is an end of a physical life but not of a relationship. That souls choose each other long before our time together on Earth and remain connected after death. It is now comforting to know what my path is, but at the age of five when my brother died, it was difficult to understand that I was being prepared for my life’s path as a medium.
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But beyond that, I am here to assist others to unwrap their own soul connections with their loved ones who have crossed over. That is why I love my Spiritual Life Coaching session. It provides exercises, teachings and techniques to help you feel the presence of and receive messages from the soul of a loved one. I teach you how to put your life back together and to find insight into why such heartbreaking events happen in our lives. The most remarkable part of this session is that your loved ones guide me in helping you find these answers and to move through the sadness that has filled your heart.

When you are ready to take the next step to heal, spiritual life coaching may be just what your soul is longing for.
Spiritual Life Coaching Information

In this July blog, I want to share with you the types of visions that the spirits of your loved ones communicate to me during our sessions. Many times when clients schedule an appointment with me, they have a preconceived understanding of what their session will entail. Though it may be difficult to have a session with me without expectations, Spirit has its own agenda.
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Before the session I never know what messages you will receive, but I will ask for messages that you need, not necessarily what you want. Messages that will help you heal. When I open up to the spirit world, the spirits take me back to a time and place that were very important in their life on Earth. They may show me an image of a favorite place to sit with a friend, a tea set, a path of roses, a favorite car or a sewing machine that was used at a factory job. They may also whisper a favorite song in my ear. If smoking was an important part of their life, I will get a whiff smoke. This does not mean that these material things are still important in Heaven, but material things are what will jar your memory. Should you have many sessions, the need for the material memories will start to fade, and the spiritual connection will become stronger. For now, it is the material that brings the connection to you.

There are some spirits that will give me a long, in-depth description of their death. Others just want to talk about their life. I never know what the spirit will bring to the session. What is most important is that they bring love, healing and peace.

When I was young, I felt very loved by my father. But as I grew into a schooled-aged child, my father became distant. He rarely held a conversation with me. As an adult, I concluded that my father was an unemotional, cold individual, and there was a strong possibility that he did not love me. I am sure that my struggles with men throughout my life were the result of not feeling loved by my father.
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When I became a medium and started to work with grieving families, I realized that my father had shut down his emotions and his ability to love a child after my brother’s death. I now have an understanding of the pain and suffering that he experienced when his only son died. After my brother’s death, my father felt that he had to be strong for my mother and that men should not show emotion. In order to do that, he closed off his feelings and did not allow himself to grieve. I never saw him cry. 

As a medium, I have communicated with my father numerous times. I truly understand his difficult journey in life. We now have a spiritual relationship which has healed us both. Very often, he sends me signs which allow me to know that he is thinking of me.

I now admire him for his strength and hold on to the few happy memories that we shared. This Father’s Day, let’s celebrate our fathers who have crossed over. Let’s celebrate the joyful memories that we hold in our hearts.

May is a month that is dedicated to celebrate our mothers. During my sessions many times the spirits bring the memories back to a day when they felt special. They don’t choose our calendar dates any longer, but instead the days that they felt loved. Those who are alive tend to focus on special holidays.
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My mother loved Mother’s Day. She had her rituals, and they were what the family followed. She was very religious and felt going to church to honor Jesus’ mother Mary was very important. My mother got dressed up for church, and throughout the Mass she proudly held my hand. The priest gave out flowers to all the mothers, which brought my mother joy.

As the years went on and I became a mother, I still made Mother’s Day special for her. As I look back, there was one Mother’s Day in particular.  We all dressed up and went to church. As I stood next to her, I now watched my daughter take her hand. The priest read a poem which he dedicated to the mother’s of the past. As I listen to the poem, I glanced up at my mother and could see the age in her face. I took her other hand and knew that one day this poem would be dedicated to her. I would like to share this poem with my mother and all the mothers who have crossed over.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow, 

I am the softly falling snow. 

I am the gentle showers of rain, 

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush, 

I am in the graceful rush 
of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night. 

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room. 

I am in the birds that sing, 

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
Author unknown

Living our day to day lives is not always easy. We may question if we are living our true paths. During a session, there are many times a client will ask Spirit about her life path. I am not sure that there is only one path. I feel that, throughout our lives, we walk many paths and stand at countless crossroads. I have also come to realize that it is not only the path we walk but the love that is in our hearts that is important.
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When a client questions Spirit about his path, the common answer is not to describe the exact road but instead to choose the path he can walk with love in his heart. Even if this seems to be the more challenging way, the journey will be filled with peace. If you are standing at a crossroad asking about a divorce, leaving a job, moving or any other life-changing situation, take a moment to contemplate. The path of continuation may seem much easier, yet it is filled with sadness, anger and despair. The other path may seem harder because of the fear unfamiliarity can cause, but underneath it is blanketed with peace and love.

In one of my sessions, my client asked the spirit of her father what to do about her aging mother. Should she put her in a nursing home against her wishes or find a way to care for her in the comforts of her home? The answer the father gave to her was that honoring her mother’s wishes would be wonderful only if she could care for her daily with love and acceptance of her aging body; otherwise, moving her to a nursing home would be kinder. The father explained that, if she honored her mother’s wishes but felt victimized on this path, at the end of this journey, she would only feel regret. She must choose the path that would bring her love and fulfillment but also allow her mother to be cared for with respect.

Another client asked the spirit of her grandmother if she was making the right decisions. Her grandmother showed me an image of a crossroad. On the left it was dark and rocky. On the right the beginning of the path was empty but full of fresh dirt. As I looked down this path, I could see flowers starting to grow, and in the distance I could see beautiful flowers. Her grandmother explained that the left path is a continuation of the path that she is on. If she has the courage to move to the right, she will eventually find peace, fulfillment and the beauty that is hers. My client shared with me that she was considering a divorce.

As you are standing at the crossroads of life, choose to walk the path that makes your soul shine.